Mar 6, 2005

I'm not sure how to go about this, but this update is to deal with the issue of return - or return of function to areas affected by injury. I know my family gets asked if I've had any improvements, or my people will say, "Oh, we heard Daryl is starting to walk..." or something like this, so hopefully this will clarify a few things, dispel a few rumors, and be a little bit encouraging at the same time.

To start this discussion, it should be noted that the spinal cord, and any nerve for that matter, is very fragile and fickle. The slightest bump or bruise could render the spinal cord useless, or function could return almost immediately. Generally, if nerves are completely severed, they do not regenerate or reattach, and function and sensation are both lost permanently. However, if the nerve or spinal cord are merely bent or bruised without being severed, it is possible for the nerves to regenerate and regain function - or they may not. Severity of the damage can be a factor to whether the nerves regain function - but it isn't necessarily indicative - that is that someone with a severely damaged spinal cord may recover and regain movement while someone else with a less serious injury may never regain any function.

Another thing to say about return is that some return does not mean that any more return will happen. If a paraplegic can wiggle her toes, it doesn't necessarily indicate that she will be able to move her legs soon or ever. However, return is never a bad sign. It means that the spinal cord is doing some healing or at the very least is coming out of the initial shock of injury. In fact, unfortunately for many, nerves healing and reattaching themselves can be a seriously painful process.

Now for the question that you all might be interested in: Have I had any return?

I've been reluctant to let anybody know about what little return I've had for the reason that I don't want people to think, "Well since he's getting some back it won't be long before he gets it all back." Like I said, any return is a good sign, and I'll take whatever I can get. But I haven't had any truly functional return, nothing that could help me with everyday tasks, like the ability to straighten my legs or control my bladder. What I have seen since the initial injury is a little improvement in sensation, especially in my left leg - much of this probably has come along slowly as my spinal cord recovers from the initial shock of injury.

Slightly more exciting, but also more risky to publish on the web, is that I've also regained a little non-functional movement. On my left foot I have consistent control in wiggling my three littlest toes - just a littly tiny bit, but the wiggle nonetheless. On my right foot, I can wiggle my big toe and my littlest toe just a little bit, and also have a slight wiggle in my ankle.

These are all exciting, but cannot help me with any functional tasks at this point. Perhaps the most exciting part is that this much return could not have been expected in my situation. In fact, I was talking to my spine surgeon two weeks ago, and he was surprised that I had any return at all, he said my back was torn up pretty badly - probably worse than they originally let on.

In any case I will take any improvement that I can get, undoubtedly a gift from God. I tell people these days that I shouldn't expect to walk again - it would be a MIRACLE if I was ever able to. Luckily I believe that God the Father of Jesus Christ still works miracles through his Spirit - so walking again isn't an impossibility. The word I hear from God is not whether I will walk again or not, but rather that if I am obedient I will have a wonderful witness to his glory either way.

And actually if I had to start walking again, I might be sad for a few moments because I'm starting to get pretty good at using the old chair with wheels. (I imagine I would get over it pretty quickly...)

From Craig Hospital in Denver, Colorado - the place to be (in rehab) if you have to be (in rehab),

Daryl