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    20th December 2006

    A good wedding, a good trip, and a blizzard

    First off, congratulations are in order for Dave Schroeder and Kate Brower, now the Mrs. Dave Schroeder! I was privileged to be present as they began their life as husband and wife. It was a lovely wedding – and a really fun reception!

    It was also really sweet to be in GR and hang out with the college friends for a couple of days.

    Normally I would be really excited to have the time to be writing right now. I just finished a semester; I got to go on a sweet trip and hang out with friends; and life is generally pretty good for me – I’m thankful for my family and many friends…

    And maybe it is the foot and a half of snow blowing around outside that is dampening my spirits; or maybe it is the additionaly foot they say will fall tonight that is weighing on my shoulders – but I’m not really feeling like doing anything at all. Playing my guitar, yes, but when I feel this way I strum sad and aching tunes that really only add to the ache.

    The snow is especially causing some heart yearning as I see my brother tromping off to a friends house, all bundled up. He tried to use my old cross country skis, but the boots and poles were just to small for him. Going out in this kind of weather is something I loved to do, but getting through snow drifts in a wheelchair sounds damned near impossible.

    The honeymoon with paraplegia might be ending for me. Get ready for some bitterness, folks, because I fear it might start building now.

    I trust I’ll feel better in the morning – but that seems a long ways away and I’m not sure that I won’t do something stupid in the meantime.

    You could probably read that sentence again and apply it metaphorically to a much longer span of time and it would explain a lot of how I’m feeling about the whole living post-car-accident/spinal-cord-injury thing.

    An amending note: I have already heard from someone who was worried about me a mere two hours after posting this little note, especially concerning the end of the second to last sentence, about doing something stupid. Rest assured, readers, that I’m not in great danger of doing something stupid that would hurt myself; doing something stupid like allowing myself to actually become bitter, perhaps – or maybe watching some crappy TV shows. In fact, merely writing these things helped me to feel better. I would think that most who know me would also know of my nearly relentless positive attitude – even when I’m feeling blue, I still always believe that life can and will be better. The spring 2004 – before the car accident – I had a wicked bout with depression that has helped me deal with downer days ever since. I certainly think it is ok to allow yourself to feel the lows, but since that spring of depression I have often told myself that I would give myself a day or some short period of time to feel it, and then I would be through with it – and this can work remarkably well. I could also have shown some way to show the sarcasm in the “honeymoon with paraplegia” comment… I mean, could there really be such a thing? It was kind of fun and interesting for a while, but there really aren’t that many benefits involved in the long run – and the long run has really been setting in for me recently. This could be a LONG run, afterall. So please don’t worry about me doing something to hurt myself or anyone else. I’m feeling a little low tonight, but there really isn’t anything to do about it. Heck I can’t even get out of my mom’s house because of all the snow! No wonder I’m feeling down…

    1 comment

    One Response to “A good wedding, a good trip, and a blizzard”

    1. Kate Brower (Schroeder!) says:

      Hey Daryl, Thank you SO much for making the trip and coming to my wedding. You’re an amazing friend!!! I would love to catch up with you sometime!! I hope you’re doing well!!! Love, Kate

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    Copyright 2005 by Daryl Holmlund - All rights reserved.